You're Fired - How The Apprentice Shows The Worst of UK Business!!

I have to admit that I am an avid fan of the Apprentice and always have been. The genius that is Stuart Baggs cannot be underestimated and the general cartoonish extreme traits that each candidate displays are always very entertaining.    Although most of the pantomime that features in each episode is down to fantastic casting and great editing, the types of back stabbing and general one-upmanship are things that we have all have encountered at work although to a much lesser degree.

Watching the past few weeks has made me reflect on the world of work and what I want to be a part of next. Having been out of work for a few months now, it has to be said that in many ways I actually am starting to enjoy not having to deal with all the hassle and protocols that you have to follow in an office. Being in control what you do each day and when is actually quite liberating although self-dicipline certainly has to be exercised or before you know it, the day has flown by.

So what next for me? Well still plodding on with applying for jobs but starting to realise that maybe my days working for someone else may have come to an end. So I am looking into setting up on my own working for companies that I actually want to work for so watch this space people. Creating my business plan as we speak so one day I can emulate my hero Stuart Baggs!

Job hunt for 35 hours each week or else!

Haha, that's the findings from a prominent Government thinktank led by Iain Duncan-Smith.  Wow, yet another initiative that seems to stink of the Government trying to get those all important jobseekers stats down.  What I want to know is how the hell is it possible to jobhunt for 35 hours each week.  Wow if job hunting is a full time job you would technically be earning just over 50p an hour based on standard jobseekers - now what was that about the minimum wage!

There aren't enough jobs in the world plus most jobseeking is now taking place online - how the hell could you do that for 35 hours. Job hunting for someone who wants to work is not highly pleasurable as it is with some of the downsides being depression and loss of confidence as you start to question your worth and whether you are actually employable anymore.

Personally, a few focused hours is about all I can manage each day before my concentration goes and I end up surfing the net, writing a blog piece or working out what fantastic feast to cook up for dinner (the menu tonight is Thai Chicken with mango salad as featured on This Morning yesterday looked yummy).

Job hunting is a mind numbing drab process and to get the best out of it you need to not just do blanket mailouts but actually tailor your applications and letters and calls to stand out above the crowd.  Creativity takes time and I am a firm believer that I would much rather put my best foot forward by sending something bespoke that I am 100% proud of. This approach has meant that I have secured a much higher rate of interviews than many.

Computer says no!

Last week had to be one of the weirdest first meetings that I have ever had with a recruitment agent.  This one was no bolshey wide boy in a bad suit and full of hot air (to be honest not that many are most are quite pleasant).  She was well spoken, owned and ran her own agency which seemed to have many blue chip clients and plush offices in the heart of town. 

All looking good, she called me in after I applied for a role online that sounded right up my street so I was chuffed to get her call asking me to come in for an initial chat. Anyway, off I trotted to town, bit like Dick Whittington with my knapsack on my back! So I walked in and filled in the usual forms and handed over my passport to prove that my East End credentials are as they seem. 

Then we went into one of the interview rooms where I was expecting to be asked questions about what I have done.  The strange thing was was that she hardly asked question just read out everyone bullet point on my CV word for word.  Hearing your own prose read back to you word for word is a tad weird, especially as I've had to work on it so many times that I almost know it rote. It just made me feel uneasy and wondering:

-  if she had actually even read my CV?; 

- is this really what her clients are paying for? I could see little expertise in terms of being able to read words off a page

- maybe all she was interested in was looks - do I look like what the client would like? Her technique really was not going to allow her to find out anything of any use about me. 

Anyway, from here on in she shall be known as "Computer Says No" but hopefully she can get me an interview for the job that she was touting for as it sounded pretty good.

Why Are We Waiting

One thing I can't abide is people wasting my time.  I've never been known for my patience. So if I'm due to sign on at a certain time, I expect not to be hanging around for almost an hour.  Last week I was given a piece of paper with a different time to sign on at yesterday due to the Bank Holiday.  

Off I trotted to the Jobcentre for 11.40 not my usual 12.45 signing on slot. If I'm late at the Jobcentre I would basically be given a warning and if it happens a few times have my benefits stopped.  All just another way to improve jobless stats ultimately. So by rights if the Jobcentre keeps me waiting shouldn't I get a pay rise due to their incompetence?! Nice theory but sadly this does not work in practice - obviously waste the time of the under employed is not deemed to be of any significance. 

The man who should have been seeing me seemed to be doing other things.  Work related but form filling as opposed to signing people on.  In the end up I sat there for 40 mins. Man was I getting annoyed - I even went up to check that he had my book which he did. My general exasperation was compounded by the fact that I had things to sort out with regards to my dad's estate which meant trekking across town plus I had an interview to prepare for the next day too. 

When I was seen a good hour later, the first thing he said was that I was too early and that my time is 1245.  He even showed me his computer screen to back up his statement.  I said that he'd given me a piece of paper with a different time on last time I signed on. He said there was no record of this - admin is obviously not a strong point for the Jobcentre maybe we should introduce fining for their screw ups. 

Anyway, he said that for next time I would have to attend a one-to-one interview to help me find work.  It is due to last at least half an hour.  The letter I had referred to a back to work workshop which I asked him about as I had not done that part.  He said "that workshop is not for people like me as I don't come across as someone looking to stack shelves at Sainsbury's so I would not need to do that part and the one-2-one would be better for me".  Then I asked if I needed to bring my CV.  Turns out he had a copy on file which he read in awe.  Wow - maybe all the under employed aren't no hopers :)

Life just gets in the way

Well,  the past 10 days have been the toughest that I have faced in a long long while. On the upside I have had in four requests for interview although I have had to reschedule three of them and pull out of one altogether. I guess it really is a case of life getting in the way of job hunting.

Sadly my father passed away last week Sunday.  I was the one who called the police to break in where they found his body in the lounge - amazing what a hunch can lead to although secretly I kept wishing that he would suddenly appear and berate me for being silly and that he was fine. I was the one that had to track down lost relatives and tell his sister that she had lost yet another member of her family. I was the one who spoke to his brother who I never knew existed but it turns out is alive and well in Manchester. I was the one who arranged a Muslim burial although I am not religious in the slightest.  The ceremony today was lovely and I do feel a lot better about things than I did last week.  My dad was certainly a character, forthright in his opinions and at times charming and at times harsh.  At least now he is at peace.

Anyway, I have to say that in terms of my job hunt which at the start of last week suddenly went up to 5th gear (a driving reference even though I am a rubbish driver 5 tests and 3.5 years worth of lessons and only driven once since I passed). The people who were due to interview me have been fantastic from agents to a chief exec who sent me a lovely email today saying that he thought I had a stand out CV and that he did not want me to pull out so would arrange a time to meet me tomorrow. I guess at times things like these bring out the best in people.   So this evening I will be swotting up for my interviews tomorrow with a glass of wine (not very Muslim but that's me all over - bacon sandwich anyone! :))

RIP Dad xxx

Friends Like These

What an absolutely gorgeous day - the sun is shining through the window as I job hunt so it is hard to be down. Will be heading out in a bit to buy some food to cook up a storm tonight - can't wait.

Right on with my blog.  Last night one of my well meaning friends managed to rile me.  It was post conversation where my mind started to whirl with what had actually been said - I'm one of the people who needs time to fester and reflect.

The upshot was that my friend who does not really know what I do in terms of marketing and has not known me for that long was happy to give me advice on work and where I live.  One gem was that I should move to a cheaper area - you know one where you can rent a one bed flat for £600 each month! This was coming from someone who has owned his own place for 26 years and never faced the perils that come from renting in London.  I live in South West London, not in the most glam place in the world but not the dregs either. He is going to look over the weekend to find suitable areas for me!  I guess being self reliant and renting for over 10 years has qualified me for nothing.

The next piece of wisdom was on the job hunt front. OK I have not had paid work since the end of Nov but I have done some volunteering.  Admittedly December/early Jan was a slow month.  But I have chased jobs etc.  The main thing is that I have 10 years experience and I can't really go for a junior role with a substantial salary cut.  I don't spend money frivolously  but do need to earn above a certain level in order to meet my commitments.  I am a B2B marketing specialist so not as many roles as consumer led ones from what I see and so on.

Anyway, my friend was very much like "oh you must go for anything now even taking a £10k pay cut.  The job you are after does not exist."  I know the market has dropped since its peak but it certainly has picked up in the past year or two as firms are now starting to regroup and rehire those that they culled in 2009. Taking a next step that involves taking my career back at least seven years to me is not the right move even if it does mean that I am in a job.  I just need to keep on going and have the confidence and drive to get the job that I know is mine.

The 'M' Factor

Ok, I have to admit that these past few weeks have been tough and I have been very unmotivated.  I  just don't want to do anything.  Having a cold for the past few weeks, being under employed and worried about whether I'll be able to make my rent in a few months time is starting to weigh down on me. I need to be motivated but currently just don't feel like it. I officially hate all the crap that comes with looking for a job.

All of these things make it hard to focus my mind on what should be the main task in hand, finding a job.  I guess I am starting to feel a bit worn down by everything and the idea that life is always a struggle or a fight that in the main I have to contend with alone.  At times life does certainly suck.