It Takes Time

Well, I've been at my place for a month now and it must be said that the transition hasn't been totally smooth.  More responsibilities than first thought and a hell of a lot of new systems, processes people and a whole new business to learn.

It has to be said that for the first few weeks I was very much thinking that my dream job was more of  nightmare and that I could easily have picked up the phone and hot footed it back to my old place.  I missed my old team and the witch had surprisingly 'quit' and left the building pretty pronto so that big road block was no longer there.

It Takes Time 
I'm impatient, I'm stubborn and my own worst critic so having to be the newbie and ask loads of questions and not knowing what was going on was a big challenge for me.  My social life this month has ground to a halt as I can't afford to have a hangover the next day plus I've had to work late to get stuff done.  Far too many team things and meetings during the day - when precisely am I meant to do my work!

Times Are Settling
But now I feel like I am starting to come out of the other side. I am learning how to approach things, who needs to approve/see stuff and I am meeting some of the key people in the business.  Now I can see why I've been hired and what value I can bring.  I know how to get things done without fuss.  I like to just get on with it.  Make that call, write that piece whatever to get the job done.  That's me.

So going forward, I just need to get comfortable and believe in my own abilities. I know my stuff and that's why I've been hired.  So bring it on :).

New job, new hope

Well currently I am sitting in a cafe in the port of hvar on an island hopping holiday in Croatia. Think this place is how Greece once was before the euro pushed the prices up.

As the title says, I am currently between jobs and loving it. Having a chance to get me back before plunging head first into a new challenging role certainly makes sense. Hadn't quite realised how much working for the crazy inept lady at my last place had knocked the stuffing out of me.

I will the good guys in my team, not the stupid junior ones but the others who are very good at what they do. I just hope each them lands something worthy of their talents soon and don't get so brow beaten that they lose confidence in their own capabilities.  One of the sad side effects of working for. A crap, vindictive person. Until all the good people go, she will hang onto that job.

I am looking forward to my new job, new team and new bosses. Although it is bit scary going into such a high performing team as there will be a lot to learn and a lot to prove. But hey, my batteries will be recharged so I'll be ready to take it on.

What Not To Do When You're A Boss

Inspired by having a tremendously crap boss, here are some of the things that me and my colleagues came up with that good bosses should never do.  To all you rubbish bosses out there please take note, one day you will get your comeuppance if you don't take heed and change your ways.

Don't Keep Saying "I get that" or "I understand" in a rude abrupt tone when you clearly don't have the foggiest idea about what is going on or the point that the person is trying to make.

Don't keep saying that your employee 'owns' a project . Especially when they clearly don't as you will stick your oar in wherever you can regardless of whether you know what you are doing. We all know that an   employee 'owning' a project is another way for you to dodge any blame should anything go wrong. It's all about protecting your managerial ass.

Don't defer every minor decision to Group so that again you have no accountability. It's obvious you are clueless so wrapping everything in a serious amount of pointless red tape does not hide your general cluelessness.  It shows it up even more.

Stop using meaningless jargon. I work in marketing and don't understand what the hell you are going on about so what hope is there for the people in the business who are not marketeers. Get real, stop using jargon to disguise the fact again that you are clueless.  The characters in the fantastic beeb series twenty twelve could easily be inspired by you; pointless slogans, pointless lines, pointless jargon, just pointless. And no the use of jargon cannot hide the crap ideas that you are coming up with.  Innovator - my arse!! (Homage to Eddy Royale from the Royale Family.

Do not belittle others - it's not clever, it's not smart. Correcting people continuously who are from overseas when they are running a meeting is not good. It does not make you look big, just rude.

Learn something about the industry that you work in. Your lack of knowledge and pointless points is quite frankly embarrassing. All your ideas from other industries need to be tailored to the industry you are now in.  If they're not, they won't work.  Wake up, the business is in no state for you to screw things up even further.

At least know something about marketing.  With a switched on team like ours we soon sussed you out.  Responding to every problem saying "how would you do it?" is a tell tale sign that you are in over your head. It might take a while for others within the business to suss you out but believe me, your whole team has.

Double dip blip - hold onto your hats folks for the recession rollercoaster

Hhmm so the economy has tanked even more in the past three months - 0.7% fall.  Construction fared even worse, dropping over 5% in the past three months.  It really will be survival of the fittest, the continuing Euro turmoil, Olympic chaos and holiday season will all add to the general sluggishness. Realistically things will not start to pick up until September at least.  Batton down those hatches folks.

The overall depression in the construction market is certainly panning out at work. Our orderbook has some big voids, lots of people holding off from appointing consultants such as ourselves and lots of people choosing to sit on the fence and wait until better times are on the horizon. Any this coupled with new boss who is in overhead means that we are about to enter choppy waters.

Each marketing man or wo(man) for themselves, back stabbing, stupid justification of your own worth and fighting to the death are all things that I am expecting to see at work in the next few weeks.  Watch the space to see if I survive or even want to survive. Hopefully, one of those lifejackets that I am hoping to be thrown by competitors will materialise for real soon. Fingers and toes crossed.

How to Win The Apprentice

I can't be the only one who shouts at the screen whenever the apprentice is on, where the hell do they find these people. Anyway, it got me thinking about if I were a contest on The Apprentice, what things should I bear in mind to win.  Here goes:
1. Have a strrattteeggyyy but make it realistic - no need for complexity but understand the task at hand and develop a strategy to win it.
2. Don't hide at the back or skulk in the shadows - the words lazy, didn't contribute and coasting will all be used against you.
3. Know how to use a calculator - work out your margins and all those financial equations that put you on the road to profit.
4. Be a sort of the earth 'arrow boy - bit difficult if you are a girl but you catch my drift. Kind of works if Lord Sugar empathises with you in terms of where ya come from.  Cor blimey guvnor (can you spot my East End roots yet?!)
5. Don't big yourself up too much - when you're interrogated in the board room your CV and overinflated claims will come back and bite you on the bum.
6. Don't be too arty farty - You will come unstuck. Lord Sugar will not understand or appreciate you.
7. Don't talk too much or be over dramatic - There have been some epic firings where a 'safe' candidate just couldn't shut up.  Noooo - you will just dig yourself into a hole.
8. Don't promise that you will win as PM the following week - this may get you a stay of execution for a week but if you lose you will be out on your ear.
9. Don't be an evil cow - you will be found out - Lord Sugar doesn't appreciate tittle tattle or schemers so be bad at your own peril.
10. Make sure you are not a patronising idiot - this one was introduced for Adam  in the current series. Watched him on your fired and really was not impressed by his delusional view on his own capabilities or to be more precise, lack of them.
11. There aren't many real ad and marketing specialists - even though everyone says they are.  So many bullshiters our there.  I should know as I've worked with many.
12. Have a memorable board room speech - field of ponies anyone?!
13. Be a fighter - although you're in a team, you are also acting as an individual.  So become too matey at your peril.
14. Watch previous series to really know what to do -  There is a formula.. Good luck.

Anyway, those are the things that sprung to my mind the other day. If you have any other gems, do share.

Making Your Mark - The Perils of New Bosses

So having a new boss is a bit of a shock.  Ever the pessimist I do tend to think of the worst side of things, maybe it's my tough East End upbringing manifesting itself. But why oh why do new bosses in the words of Cartman, have to "assert their authority" aka be a control freak.

So far she is blunt, brash and seems to want to change everything without understanding the industry or the back story which to me is very very dangerous.  How can you make changes when you know nothing about the sector or company.  Construction is a funny, insulated sector and in many ways, way behind other industries such as IT. So things that work elsewhere may not have the same effect here. Only time will tell.

It's not been long so the key for me is to keep a level head, hold my tongue and not be too much of a rebel.  Whether I can manage that or not is another matter.  I know I can be hot headed, passionate and to be honest don't give a damn.  All reasons why the next few weeks are going to be very challenging indeed. I can only do my best.

The good thing is that it's not only me who has these alarm bells ringing but the people I work with and respect have the same feelings so we surely all can't be wrong. Hopefully in the coming weeks new boss will see the wood for the trees and figure out who she should be listening to. If she doesn't let the carnage ensue.....

35 - the best age in life?

Not often that I neglect my blog but of late I have had a serious case of writers block. At work I spend my time writing copy all the time that it's all coming to me easily but then I get home and the last thing I want to do is write more even on more enjoyable topics.

So where's my life at at the moment?  Well I turn 35 next week - another milestone and just read a piece that 35 is meant to the best point in someone's life so I will definitely be putting that one to the test. If it's true I very much look forward to letting you all know in the coming year.  If it's not, I'm sure I will let you know that too - always good to have blogging material. Although that whole thing about 35 being the time when your life is sorted in terms of relationships, home and career are all still up in the air for me though I do kind of have an idea about where I want to go and am working my way towards them. Fingers and toes crossed that life gets sorted out in the way I'd like.