Ding Dong the Witch Is Gone

So the my awful witch ex-boss just disappeared a few weeks' after I left.  She announced to the team at the end of a horrendously long team meeting that she was going.  And that she wanted her departure to be kept secret and that she would be gone in just 2 weeks. The team meal after that was a lot freer and lively, everyone was relieved.

Clearing out my flat recently I came across some of the notes that I'd compiled when I was there to make a complaint and it makes shocking reading here are just some of the best bits:

What has such and such delivered in the past 6 months?.  Oh yes that's what to ask a member of staff about a fellow colleague on day 3 in an aggressive manner.  How to not to make friends...

Withholding information.  Oh yes, the best thing to do is to cut members of the team out of meetings with other people in the business for projects they would have to deliver.  The aim being that she would then hold all the cards.  Main problem here was that she didn't have a clue and therefore couldn't brief you about what you actually had a do so pointless barriers. HHmmm since she left, lots of the projects that she said were in hand hadn't actually started at all - makes ya wonder what she did for her £70k plus per year...

Making team members do tasks way out of their job remit.  From making sure conference phones are in meeting rooms (IT or admin responsibility) to fixing video conferencing she just wanted to throw her weight around.

Damaging relationships with the business.  How she managed to piss off so many people was highly impressive.  Marketing is all about have good relationships with your internal clients as well as external ones.  Everyone couldn't stand her.  Directors had meetings where they said that they couldn't stand marketing and when asked why, all their reasons involved her. They even stopped coming to see the marketing team as the atmosphere was so dire plus she would butt into everything. When she left many of them refused to sign her leaving card, relations were that sour.


Now that she's gone they are all working together better and just getting on with it, the need to have a new boss who is a saviour has relented as the chaos that was caused by her will take a long time to forget. In my next post I'll delve more into why I think she went - was she pushed or was it her decision......

Government Welfare To Work Programme Not Working - Surprise!

Ha, this week one of the headlines that I loved reading about was the abject failure of the Government's Welfare to Work Programme.  The results that have just been reported are abysmal.

So lets set the scene the aim of the Government Work Programme is for 18 Government prime contractors who won contracts to  get the long term unemployed back to work and the aim is that they are paid based on outcomes which is placing someone and them sticking to that job for 6 months.  In principal not a bad idea but to be honest the way it's been executed has been crap.

So these 18 contractors, mainly private sector, would have gone through hoops as any company does bidding for Government contracts and therefore would do everything possibe to claw back bid costs and also to maximise the amount of profits that they can make from the contract. So far so business like.

£435m and Counting
Yes, that is really how much the Government has spent on this rubbish scheme so far.  What a waste of money. When I was unemployed many of the things that the Government provided were inadequate, they didn't understand what I did or what I wanted to do. It was all a  tick box exercise and trying to shoe me into a shite job so that I'm no longer an unemployment statistic and on the DWP's book. The type of support that would have been of value was never offered to me and I learnt all the latest skills for job hunting from a career coach paid for by an employer when I was made redundant.  Such valuable lessons and the things I've learnt I have passed onto others that I know as no one teaches people how to job hunt properly. A competitve market means you must up your game.

Only 1 in 28
Only one in 28 actually met the target of getting and keeping a job for 6 months.  Even in a recession that is woeful.  Many charities and non profits didn't win these prime contractor contracts, as usual they were bundled into large contracts that were far too big for them.  But the Government had envisaged that the prime contractors would subcontract to these organisations and draw on their localised knowledge and success in placing unemployed people.  Did the happen?  Nah of course it didn't.  Instead some of these non profits were signed up but recevied no referrals from the prime contractors - well really why would you dilute the amount of profits that you ultimately can make regardless of how woeful some of these main companies were at working with the unemployed.

Doomed to Fail
These private companies just do not care and it's telling that non profits who receive no Government funding and operate in local areas have far higher successful outcomes. These types of organisations know the locals, know the employers in the locality and give practical advice that really helps the unemployed. We need people that really care and can provide the long term unemployed with practical advice and opportunities.  Not private sector companies chasing those who can give them the quickest payback and the easy wins - although they've not even really managed that.

Gen Y - The Give It To Me Just Cos Generation - Part One

copyright socialmediahq

As I now have a couple of bright whipper snapper reports in my new job, it  is opening my eyes to a whole side of the working world that I had never really encountered that much first hand, Generation Y. The tech savvy generation born in the 80s and 90s. 

Speaking to my bosses they started to use the term Gen Y to describe our grad intake so today I took a look at some recent blog articles about this very topic.  The Wall Street Journal and CNN really stoked my imagination. So many of the attributes that they describe are so true.  Parents always saying that you're fantastic and never saying no, constant need for recognition,  constant requirement for immediate responses and a type of entitlement not based on their abilities but on being in a spot for a certain period of time. 

Volunteering just to be seen

In part it's part of being young and being so competitive that they actually want to volunteer for things that in no way suit their individual strengths and will ultimately stress them out.  Why? Just to be seen by the big boss in the hope that it will get them noticed and promoted. It's my job to point out that this doesn't make sense - what ever happened to doing a good job and getting on with it.  The constant oneupmanship is draining and not healthy for any of those concerned.

Having to rapidly progress up the ranks 

I guess I am not the best advert for rising the ranks in companies.  I've moved around a lot, I've taken jobs without the title but fantastic development opportunities that have made me a much stronger marketer. I like having fun and working with people that I like. Oh and I like to voice my opinions to people at all levels regardless so me working in an environment where people expect to be revered is never going to work for me.  Anyway, back to Gen Y, they believe as long as they have worked somewhere for x years they deserve to progress through the ranks.  

It's about time spent not being an good to get promoted

Excelling at your job is not even a factor is just their right! That is the kind of attitude that makes me slightly crazy work hard, develop an amazing set of skills then rise up the ranks. Society is in danger that in a few years there will be a generation of managers who can't manage a piss up in a brewery. When the shit really does hit the fan they will cower in the corner, fire off shots in all directions to save their own butts and not have a clue about how to fix things - that is what happens when someone is out of their depth.  

Admin is beneath me

Anything that isn't strategic but actually is important to the business is seen as being beneath them.  They want to write the strategy and be there sharing their vast knowledge and experience not doing any admin tasks that actually underpin any business.  Get over yourselves and get on with it, we've all been there and to be honest when it needs doing even senior level people do it.

I'm Getting Old!

God I'm actually starting to sound like some veteran  but having worked in a variety of places I do get how companies work and how to sort things out. Most of the grads I am taking to do not appreciate this apart from an enlightened few where I tell to get amongst it and get experience and not to rush up that ladder too fast plus you always need to make time for fun. Anyway, I will continue this topic over the coming weeks as it's fascinating but feel free to share your views. 

It Takes Time

Well, I've been at my place for a month now and it must be said that the transition hasn't been totally smooth.  More responsibilities than first thought and a hell of a lot of new systems, processes people and a whole new business to learn.

It has to be said that for the first few weeks I was very much thinking that my dream job was more of  nightmare and that I could easily have picked up the phone and hot footed it back to my old place.  I missed my old team and the witch had surprisingly 'quit' and left the building pretty pronto so that big road block was no longer there.

It Takes Time 
I'm impatient, I'm stubborn and my own worst critic so having to be the newbie and ask loads of questions and not knowing what was going on was a big challenge for me.  My social life this month has ground to a halt as I can't afford to have a hangover the next day plus I've had to work late to get stuff done.  Far too many team things and meetings during the day - when precisely am I meant to do my work!

Times Are Settling
But now I feel like I am starting to come out of the other side. I am learning how to approach things, who needs to approve/see stuff and I am meeting some of the key people in the business.  Now I can see why I've been hired and what value I can bring.  I know how to get things done without fuss.  I like to just get on with it.  Make that call, write that piece whatever to get the job done.  That's me.

So going forward, I just need to get comfortable and believe in my own abilities. I know my stuff and that's why I've been hired.  So bring it on :).

New job, new hope

Well currently I am sitting in a cafe in the port of hvar on an island hopping holiday in Croatia. Think this place is how Greece once was before the euro pushed the prices up.

As the title says, I am currently between jobs and loving it. Having a chance to get me back before plunging head first into a new challenging role certainly makes sense. Hadn't quite realised how much working for the crazy inept lady at my last place had knocked the stuffing out of me.

I will the good guys in my team, not the stupid junior ones but the others who are very good at what they do. I just hope each them lands something worthy of their talents soon and don't get so brow beaten that they lose confidence in their own capabilities.  One of the sad side effects of working for. A crap, vindictive person. Until all the good people go, she will hang onto that job.

I am looking forward to my new job, new team and new bosses. Although it is bit scary going into such a high performing team as there will be a lot to learn and a lot to prove. But hey, my batteries will be recharged so I'll be ready to take it on.

What Not To Do When You're A Boss

Inspired by having a tremendously crap boss, here are some of the things that me and my colleagues came up with that good bosses should never do.  To all you rubbish bosses out there please take note, one day you will get your comeuppance if you don't take heed and change your ways.

Don't Keep Saying "I get that" or "I understand" in a rude abrupt tone when you clearly don't have the foggiest idea about what is going on or the point that the person is trying to make.

Don't keep saying that your employee 'owns' a project . Especially when they clearly don't as you will stick your oar in wherever you can regardless of whether you know what you are doing. We all know that an   employee 'owning' a project is another way for you to dodge any blame should anything go wrong. It's all about protecting your managerial ass.

Don't defer every minor decision to Group so that again you have no accountability. It's obvious you are clueless so wrapping everything in a serious amount of pointless red tape does not hide your general cluelessness.  It shows it up even more.

Stop using meaningless jargon. I work in marketing and don't understand what the hell you are going on about so what hope is there for the people in the business who are not marketeers. Get real, stop using jargon to disguise the fact again that you are clueless.  The characters in the fantastic beeb series twenty twelve could easily be inspired by you; pointless slogans, pointless lines, pointless jargon, just pointless. And no the use of jargon cannot hide the crap ideas that you are coming up with.  Innovator - my arse!! (Homage to Eddy Royale from the Royale Family.

Do not belittle others - it's not clever, it's not smart. Correcting people continuously who are from overseas when they are running a meeting is not good. It does not make you look big, just rude.

Learn something about the industry that you work in. Your lack of knowledge and pointless points is quite frankly embarrassing. All your ideas from other industries need to be tailored to the industry you are now in.  If they're not, they won't work.  Wake up, the business is in no state for you to screw things up even further.

At least know something about marketing.  With a switched on team like ours we soon sussed you out.  Responding to every problem saying "how would you do it?" is a tell tale sign that you are in over your head. It might take a while for others within the business to suss you out but believe me, your whole team has.

Double dip blip - hold onto your hats folks for the recession rollercoaster

Hhmm so the economy has tanked even more in the past three months - 0.7% fall.  Construction fared even worse, dropping over 5% in the past three months.  It really will be survival of the fittest, the continuing Euro turmoil, Olympic chaos and holiday season will all add to the general sluggishness. Realistically things will not start to pick up until September at least.  Batton down those hatches folks.

The overall depression in the construction market is certainly panning out at work. Our orderbook has some big voids, lots of people holding off from appointing consultants such as ourselves and lots of people choosing to sit on the fence and wait until better times are on the horizon. Any this coupled with new boss who is in overhead means that we are about to enter choppy waters.

Each marketing man or wo(man) for themselves, back stabbing, stupid justification of your own worth and fighting to the death are all things that I am expecting to see at work in the next few weeks.  Watch the space to see if I survive or even want to survive. Hopefully, one of those lifejackets that I am hoping to be thrown by competitors will materialise for real soon. Fingers and toes crossed.