I love being back in work. Having a reason to get up everyday cannot be underestimates. But I am a bit of a ponderer so have been thinking about what I have acheived so far and waht else I want to achieve in my life. Guess it's all part of being a 34 year old women and that perenniel clock that's ticking somewhere in the back of my mind.
Since being made redundant 2 years ago and being unemployed for the past 8 months means that in many ways my life has been on hold. The saving to buy a house and doing those grown up things that are a bit important for someone who is heading towards the mid 30s zone. I am pretty tough on myself especially as in many ways anything that happens in my life is down to me - no partner to gee me one or share things with.
Plus I also can't help it and compare myself to others. I know I shouldn't but it's blinking hard not to. I guess I want those 'normal' things, my own home, a partner and who knows with all that lot. I am not that naive to believe that life is always greener on the other side but I can't help what I want.
Anyway, as I'm writing this, it really occurred to be that I am part of the contract generation. The other week i was listening to the radio and it was said that people nowadays can only get personal loans from their own bank these days. Mainly because they can rifle thought your existing accounts to have a precise idea of all your incomings and outgoings. Rather Big Brotheresq really.
I took the plunge and tried to apply for a loan to cover some of the estate related things that I need to do. As someone who has never applied for a loan and in the height of enhanced credit checks I was astounded by the level of detail needed. They basically went through my current account for 3 months and asked me on the phone what each payment was for, what loans I had, credit cards the lot. As I was not looking for a mortgage, more a 1 year small loan this did strike of being highly intrusive and also in some ways overkill. I have never had to explain my financial affairs in some much detail to an institution before so it certainly was an eye opener.
Cutting to the chase, I was rejected due to me being on a 6 month contract. This made me realise that without a perm role, it is going to be hard to get credit and to buy a place and do all those life stepping stones that I would like to conquer in the next few years. I certainly am not the only one in this boat. Tough times.
