Ding Dong the Witch Is Gone

So the my awful witch ex-boss just disappeared a few weeks' after I left.  She announced to the team at the end of a horrendously long team meeting that she was going.  And that she wanted her departure to be kept secret and that she would be gone in just 2 weeks. The team meal after that was a lot freer and lively, everyone was relieved.

Clearing out my flat recently I came across some of the notes that I'd compiled when I was there to make a complaint and it makes shocking reading here are just some of the best bits:

What has such and such delivered in the past 6 months?.  Oh yes that's what to ask a member of staff about a fellow colleague on day 3 in an aggressive manner.  How to not to make friends...

Withholding information.  Oh yes, the best thing to do is to cut members of the team out of meetings with other people in the business for projects they would have to deliver.  The aim being that she would then hold all the cards.  Main problem here was that she didn't have a clue and therefore couldn't brief you about what you actually had a do so pointless barriers. HHmmm since she left, lots of the projects that she said were in hand hadn't actually started at all - makes ya wonder what she did for her £70k plus per year...

Making team members do tasks way out of their job remit.  From making sure conference phones are in meeting rooms (IT or admin responsibility) to fixing video conferencing she just wanted to throw her weight around.

Damaging relationships with the business.  How she managed to piss off so many people was highly impressive.  Marketing is all about have good relationships with your internal clients as well as external ones.  Everyone couldn't stand her.  Directors had meetings where they said that they couldn't stand marketing and when asked why, all their reasons involved her. They even stopped coming to see the marketing team as the atmosphere was so dire plus she would butt into everything. When she left many of them refused to sign her leaving card, relations were that sour.


Now that she's gone they are all working together better and just getting on with it, the need to have a new boss who is a saviour has relented as the chaos that was caused by her will take a long time to forget. In my next post I'll delve more into why I think she went - was she pushed or was it her decision......

Government Welfare To Work Programme Not Working - Surprise!

Ha, this week one of the headlines that I loved reading about was the abject failure of the Government's Welfare to Work Programme.  The results that have just been reported are abysmal.

So lets set the scene the aim of the Government Work Programme is for 18 Government prime contractors who won contracts to  get the long term unemployed back to work and the aim is that they are paid based on outcomes which is placing someone and them sticking to that job for 6 months.  In principal not a bad idea but to be honest the way it's been executed has been crap.

So these 18 contractors, mainly private sector, would have gone through hoops as any company does bidding for Government contracts and therefore would do everything possibe to claw back bid costs and also to maximise the amount of profits that they can make from the contract. So far so business like.

£435m and Counting
Yes, that is really how much the Government has spent on this rubbish scheme so far.  What a waste of money. When I was unemployed many of the things that the Government provided were inadequate, they didn't understand what I did or what I wanted to do. It was all a  tick box exercise and trying to shoe me into a shite job so that I'm no longer an unemployment statistic and on the DWP's book. The type of support that would have been of value was never offered to me and I learnt all the latest skills for job hunting from a career coach paid for by an employer when I was made redundant.  Such valuable lessons and the things I've learnt I have passed onto others that I know as no one teaches people how to job hunt properly. A competitve market means you must up your game.

Only 1 in 28
Only one in 28 actually met the target of getting and keeping a job for 6 months.  Even in a recession that is woeful.  Many charities and non profits didn't win these prime contractor contracts, as usual they were bundled into large contracts that were far too big for them.  But the Government had envisaged that the prime contractors would subcontract to these organisations and draw on their localised knowledge and success in placing unemployed people.  Did the happen?  Nah of course it didn't.  Instead some of these non profits were signed up but recevied no referrals from the prime contractors - well really why would you dilute the amount of profits that you ultimately can make regardless of how woeful some of these main companies were at working with the unemployed.

Doomed to Fail
These private companies just do not care and it's telling that non profits who receive no Government funding and operate in local areas have far higher successful outcomes. These types of organisations know the locals, know the employers in the locality and give practical advice that really helps the unemployed. We need people that really care and can provide the long term unemployed with practical advice and opportunities.  Not private sector companies chasing those who can give them the quickest payback and the easy wins - although they've not even really managed that.

Gen Y - The Give It To Me Just Cos Generation - Part One

copyright socialmediahq

As I now have a couple of bright whipper snapper reports in my new job, it  is opening my eyes to a whole side of the working world that I had never really encountered that much first hand, Generation Y. The tech savvy generation born in the 80s and 90s. 

Speaking to my bosses they started to use the term Gen Y to describe our grad intake so today I took a look at some recent blog articles about this very topic.  The Wall Street Journal and CNN really stoked my imagination. So many of the attributes that they describe are so true.  Parents always saying that you're fantastic and never saying no, constant need for recognition,  constant requirement for immediate responses and a type of entitlement not based on their abilities but on being in a spot for a certain period of time. 

Volunteering just to be seen

In part it's part of being young and being so competitive that they actually want to volunteer for things that in no way suit their individual strengths and will ultimately stress them out.  Why? Just to be seen by the big boss in the hope that it will get them noticed and promoted. It's my job to point out that this doesn't make sense - what ever happened to doing a good job and getting on with it.  The constant oneupmanship is draining and not healthy for any of those concerned.

Having to rapidly progress up the ranks 

I guess I am not the best advert for rising the ranks in companies.  I've moved around a lot, I've taken jobs without the title but fantastic development opportunities that have made me a much stronger marketer. I like having fun and working with people that I like. Oh and I like to voice my opinions to people at all levels regardless so me working in an environment where people expect to be revered is never going to work for me.  Anyway, back to Gen Y, they believe as long as they have worked somewhere for x years they deserve to progress through the ranks.  

It's about time spent not being an good to get promoted

Excelling at your job is not even a factor is just their right! That is the kind of attitude that makes me slightly crazy work hard, develop an amazing set of skills then rise up the ranks. Society is in danger that in a few years there will be a generation of managers who can't manage a piss up in a brewery. When the shit really does hit the fan they will cower in the corner, fire off shots in all directions to save their own butts and not have a clue about how to fix things - that is what happens when someone is out of their depth.  

Admin is beneath me

Anything that isn't strategic but actually is important to the business is seen as being beneath them.  They want to write the strategy and be there sharing their vast knowledge and experience not doing any admin tasks that actually underpin any business.  Get over yourselves and get on with it, we've all been there and to be honest when it needs doing even senior level people do it.

I'm Getting Old!

God I'm actually starting to sound like some veteran  but having worked in a variety of places I do get how companies work and how to sort things out. Most of the grads I am taking to do not appreciate this apart from an enlightened few where I tell to get amongst it and get experience and not to rush up that ladder too fast plus you always need to make time for fun. Anyway, I will continue this topic over the coming weeks as it's fascinating but feel free to share your views. 

It Takes Time

Well, I've been at my place for a month now and it must be said that the transition hasn't been totally smooth.  More responsibilities than first thought and a hell of a lot of new systems, processes people and a whole new business to learn.

It has to be said that for the first few weeks I was very much thinking that my dream job was more of  nightmare and that I could easily have picked up the phone and hot footed it back to my old place.  I missed my old team and the witch had surprisingly 'quit' and left the building pretty pronto so that big road block was no longer there.

It Takes Time 
I'm impatient, I'm stubborn and my own worst critic so having to be the newbie and ask loads of questions and not knowing what was going on was a big challenge for me.  My social life this month has ground to a halt as I can't afford to have a hangover the next day plus I've had to work late to get stuff done.  Far too many team things and meetings during the day - when precisely am I meant to do my work!

Times Are Settling
But now I feel like I am starting to come out of the other side. I am learning how to approach things, who needs to approve/see stuff and I am meeting some of the key people in the business.  Now I can see why I've been hired and what value I can bring.  I know how to get things done without fuss.  I like to just get on with it.  Make that call, write that piece whatever to get the job done.  That's me.

So going forward, I just need to get comfortable and believe in my own abilities. I know my stuff and that's why I've been hired.  So bring it on :).

New job, new hope

Well currently I am sitting in a cafe in the port of hvar on an island hopping holiday in Croatia. Think this place is how Greece once was before the euro pushed the prices up.

As the title says, I am currently between jobs and loving it. Having a chance to get me back before plunging head first into a new challenging role certainly makes sense. Hadn't quite realised how much working for the crazy inept lady at my last place had knocked the stuffing out of me.

I will the good guys in my team, not the stupid junior ones but the others who are very good at what they do. I just hope each them lands something worthy of their talents soon and don't get so brow beaten that they lose confidence in their own capabilities.  One of the sad side effects of working for. A crap, vindictive person. Until all the good people go, she will hang onto that job.

I am looking forward to my new job, new team and new bosses. Although it is bit scary going into such a high performing team as there will be a lot to learn and a lot to prove. But hey, my batteries will be recharged so I'll be ready to take it on.

What Not To Do When You're A Boss

Inspired by having a tremendously crap boss, here are some of the things that me and my colleagues came up with that good bosses should never do.  To all you rubbish bosses out there please take note, one day you will get your comeuppance if you don't take heed and change your ways.

Don't Keep Saying "I get that" or "I understand" in a rude abrupt tone when you clearly don't have the foggiest idea about what is going on or the point that the person is trying to make.

Don't keep saying that your employee 'owns' a project . Especially when they clearly don't as you will stick your oar in wherever you can regardless of whether you know what you are doing. We all know that an   employee 'owning' a project is another way for you to dodge any blame should anything go wrong. It's all about protecting your managerial ass.

Don't defer every minor decision to Group so that again you have no accountability. It's obvious you are clueless so wrapping everything in a serious amount of pointless red tape does not hide your general cluelessness.  It shows it up even more.

Stop using meaningless jargon. I work in marketing and don't understand what the hell you are going on about so what hope is there for the people in the business who are not marketeers. Get real, stop using jargon to disguise the fact again that you are clueless.  The characters in the fantastic beeb series twenty twelve could easily be inspired by you; pointless slogans, pointless lines, pointless jargon, just pointless. And no the use of jargon cannot hide the crap ideas that you are coming up with.  Innovator - my arse!! (Homage to Eddy Royale from the Royale Family.

Do not belittle others - it's not clever, it's not smart. Correcting people continuously who are from overseas when they are running a meeting is not good. It does not make you look big, just rude.

Learn something about the industry that you work in. Your lack of knowledge and pointless points is quite frankly embarrassing. All your ideas from other industries need to be tailored to the industry you are now in.  If they're not, they won't work.  Wake up, the business is in no state for you to screw things up even further.

At least know something about marketing.  With a switched on team like ours we soon sussed you out.  Responding to every problem saying "how would you do it?" is a tell tale sign that you are in over your head. It might take a while for others within the business to suss you out but believe me, your whole team has.

Double dip blip - hold onto your hats folks for the recession rollercoaster

Hhmm so the economy has tanked even more in the past three months - 0.7% fall.  Construction fared even worse, dropping over 5% in the past three months.  It really will be survival of the fittest, the continuing Euro turmoil, Olympic chaos and holiday season will all add to the general sluggishness. Realistically things will not start to pick up until September at least.  Batton down those hatches folks.

The overall depression in the construction market is certainly panning out at work. Our orderbook has some big voids, lots of people holding off from appointing consultants such as ourselves and lots of people choosing to sit on the fence and wait until better times are on the horizon. Any this coupled with new boss who is in overhead means that we are about to enter choppy waters.

Each marketing man or wo(man) for themselves, back stabbing, stupid justification of your own worth and fighting to the death are all things that I am expecting to see at work in the next few weeks.  Watch the space to see if I survive or even want to survive. Hopefully, one of those lifejackets that I am hoping to be thrown by competitors will materialise for real soon. Fingers and toes crossed.

How to Win The Apprentice

I can't be the only one who shouts at the screen whenever the apprentice is on, where the hell do they find these people. Anyway, it got me thinking about if I were a contest on The Apprentice, what things should I bear in mind to win.  Here goes:
1. Have a strrattteeggyyy but make it realistic - no need for complexity but understand the task at hand and develop a strategy to win it.
2. Don't hide at the back or skulk in the shadows - the words lazy, didn't contribute and coasting will all be used against you.
3. Know how to use a calculator - work out your margins and all those financial equations that put you on the road to profit.
4. Be a sort of the earth 'arrow boy - bit difficult if you are a girl but you catch my drift. Kind of works if Lord Sugar empathises with you in terms of where ya come from.  Cor blimey guvnor (can you spot my East End roots yet?!)
5. Don't big yourself up too much - when you're interrogated in the board room your CV and overinflated claims will come back and bite you on the bum.
6. Don't be too arty farty - You will come unstuck. Lord Sugar will not understand or appreciate you.
7. Don't talk too much or be over dramatic - There have been some epic firings where a 'safe' candidate just couldn't shut up.  Noooo - you will just dig yourself into a hole.
8. Don't promise that you will win as PM the following week - this may get you a stay of execution for a week but if you lose you will be out on your ear.
9. Don't be an evil cow - you will be found out - Lord Sugar doesn't appreciate tittle tattle or schemers so be bad at your own peril.
10. Make sure you are not a patronising idiot - this one was introduced for Adam  in the current series. Watched him on your fired and really was not impressed by his delusional view on his own capabilities or to be more precise, lack of them.
11. There aren't many real ad and marketing specialists - even though everyone says they are.  So many bullshiters our there.  I should know as I've worked with many.
12. Have a memorable board room speech - field of ponies anyone?!
13. Be a fighter - although you're in a team, you are also acting as an individual.  So become too matey at your peril.
14. Watch previous series to really know what to do -  There is a formula.. Good luck.

Anyway, those are the things that sprung to my mind the other day. If you have any other gems, do share.

Making Your Mark - The Perils of New Bosses

So having a new boss is a bit of a shock.  Ever the pessimist I do tend to think of the worst side of things, maybe it's my tough East End upbringing manifesting itself. But why oh why do new bosses in the words of Cartman, have to "assert their authority" aka be a control freak.

So far she is blunt, brash and seems to want to change everything without understanding the industry or the back story which to me is very very dangerous.  How can you make changes when you know nothing about the sector or company.  Construction is a funny, insulated sector and in many ways, way behind other industries such as IT. So things that work elsewhere may not have the same effect here. Only time will tell.

It's not been long so the key for me is to keep a level head, hold my tongue and not be too much of a rebel.  Whether I can manage that or not is another matter.  I know I can be hot headed, passionate and to be honest don't give a damn.  All reasons why the next few weeks are going to be very challenging indeed. I can only do my best.

The good thing is that it's not only me who has these alarm bells ringing but the people I work with and respect have the same feelings so we surely all can't be wrong. Hopefully in the coming weeks new boss will see the wood for the trees and figure out who she should be listening to. If she doesn't let the carnage ensue.....

35 - the best age in life?

Not often that I neglect my blog but of late I have had a serious case of writers block. At work I spend my time writing copy all the time that it's all coming to me easily but then I get home and the last thing I want to do is write more even on more enjoyable topics.

So where's my life at at the moment?  Well I turn 35 next week - another milestone and just read a piece that 35 is meant to the best point in someone's life so I will definitely be putting that one to the test. If it's true I very much look forward to letting you all know in the coming year.  If it's not, I'm sure I will let you know that too - always good to have blogging material. Although that whole thing about 35 being the time when your life is sorted in terms of relationships, home and career are all still up in the air for me though I do kind of have an idea about where I want to go and am working my way towards them. Fingers and toes crossed that life gets sorted out in the way I'd like.

The Youth of Today

Turning 35 next month, almost hitting the year mark of when dad passed away and finally be on the home straight in terms of selling his flat, I have been reflecting a hell of a lot. Actually maybe a bit too much. 

The inspiration for this post is that why are the young people I am working with making me exceptionally grumpy.  Is it their youthful overzealous enthusiasm, lack of appreciating that they have no experience and failure to see that they are spouting absolute drivel or a combination of everything.  

Maybe I'm just getting old and grumpy but actually I don't think it's that.  I love ideas and different approaches but at the right time.  Deviating from the brief when something really must be out of the door quickly is just plain annoying.  I guess as it is someone like me having to scramble around at 9 in the evening trying to fix things that should have been done in the first place is just a pain.  

The drive at work seems to be to get more and more youth on board. In these harsh times having very few safeguards, experience and industry knowledge as part of the team puts us in danger of heading for a fall.  I made my thoughts known on this today and will continue to do so. 

Aside from that work is going well and even though I didn't get the job.  I am happy. Will just have to wait and see what happens when whoever my new boss is starts. Fingers crossed he or she won't be a pleb.

It's That Time Again - It's Interview Time

Well, 2012 is zooming past as month 2 is almost at an end.  This weekend, I am chilling and recovering from a fever that was like a hazy cloud hanging about over my mind for most of the week.  At least now I feel much more like me.

So this weekend also involves me prepping for an interview that I have next week.  Scary stuff but I am going to give it my best.  It is strange having to  update my CV the other week as having worked for 6 months I was getting used to not having to think in interview mode.  The job is to head up the team and be the big boss. It's something that I can certainly do but at times I do doubt my own abilities.  I need to get more bolshey and confident about what it is I can do, I can't help being modest but actually singing your own trumpet at times is what we all should do now and then.

Personality test done yesterday, now time to start on a 15 min presentation and swot up on all the stuff I've done in the past. God it really does get harder and harder to remember but I'll give it a go.

Davos - Youth Unemployment at 51.4% in Spain

Just read that in the Guardian and am flabbergasted.  How did the world come to this? It's not young peoples fault that European economies are in freefall but they are certainly one of the main groups getting the worst of things.

In the UK youth unemployment is at 22% so we still have a way to go to be in the car crash state that is Spain but we all have a duty to act now or we will face so much turmoil and unrest later on that taking no action is not an option.

The World Economic Forum, Davos

The summit of EU leaders took place last week and youth unemployment and how to address it was a hot topic.  On the one hand they are calling for restraint and austerity measures to curb the excessive spending of yesterday and on the other they want to pump money into schemes to rescue our lost generation of youth.  Both these measures are at odds with each other.  Austerity cuts ultimately lead to less jobs and  the private sector is so jittery across Europe that no one will be filling the void where public sector jobs had once existed. We are stuck in a viscous downward spiral - new thinking will be required to stop the young losing faith in life and humanity. 

What Would I Do? 

I'd stop the rot and get proper schemes in place to arm young people with the right skills:

• Work with them to get proper communication skills
• Work with them to learn how to find jobs - they are there but you must search hard
• Work with to understand how to write a captivating CV
• Work with them so that they are kept busy and maintain their spirits and motivation.  It's all too easy to get despondent and depressed when you have nothing to do most days.
• Work with them if the above isn't working to come up with ideas and set up their own businesses. 

The Emperor's New Clothes - Some People Have An Overinflated Sense of Self Worth

It has to be said that the advent of social media allows us to all to be stalkers.  We can check people, companies and facts out in an instant.  I did this recently via Linked In when I looked up someone who had kind of taken over the role that I had been made redundant from in 2009. To be honest one of the reasons that he was deemed as a success by the business was because:

• he was male and had some of the general over confident characteristics that male dominated firms seem to admire.  Who cares if he is chatting complete and utter tosh - he's one of the boys! 
• he would say what people wanted to hear regardless of if it made sense
• he was so confident in his own abilities and talent as a sophisticated schemer that he underestimated all his fellow marketers around him and would do everything in his power to bad mouth them all.

When I saw his profile for what he did for my former company it really did bring home that me being a realist and honest is probably scuppering my career trajectory.  He was blathering on about delivering significant results for a £100m business and managing a team etc.  All lies, he achieved very little and made numerous mess ups but who can question his claims.  

Employers can't give bad references or even truthful references as they could be sued.  Individuals are now free to create their own persona online - all you do is consider the things that you want to emphasise and get writing.  On Linked In and the like, you can select what you want people to know about you and build your own brand.  So what if it's not entirely true - how can anyone prove it? And more to the point who can actually be bothered to disprove what others have said!

Cait Reilly 'Forced' To Work for free

Cait Reilly who is suing the Government for 'Forced Labour'

Graduate Cait Reilly has been all over the news this week for taking the Government to court over 'forcing' her to give up a voluntary post at a museum to do a two week stint of unpaid unskilled work at Poundland. If she didn't do the unskilled work placement she would lose her job seekers allowance. Cait's story has caught the nations attention and she is being splashed across the press and being demonised for this.

Unless you have been through unemployment you really cannot understand what it is like. I have been there three times, just after I graduated in 2000, in 2009 when the recession hammered the construction sector that I work in to oblivion and in 2011 when I was no longer in the world of law. I have empathy with Cait because:

She had the get up and go to find and commit to voluntary work 
Lots of long term unemployed do not want to work and often with low level skills and no work ethic.  Cait was a graduate who found a voluntary placement in an area that interested her.  She should be commended for having the gumption to do that not vilified.  She already had retail experience so actually how would Poundland two week unpaid placement have advanced her skills?  I don't think they would have done so logically as long as she wasn't just sitting on her arse at home doing nothing she should have been allowed to continue with her voluntary week.


She would still have had to sign on and go to the job centre every fortnight
Only once you have gone through the horrible rigmarole that is attending your signing on day and that general sinking feeling that you get at that precise moment that you realise you are heading there, please don't assume that this is a walk in the park.  There are so many people who sign on who have no get up and go, do the bear minimum to receive JSA and have no educational skills often not even being able to read and write.  They do not want to work and our jobcentres are not actually geared up to deal with these people who are actually the ones who need the 'big boot' from big brother more than people like Cait.

Signing on is not a walk in the park for scroungers
As a professional person who has contributed to society through my taxes for over 10 years I have the right to claim JSA and shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing so.  For certain professions including architects and sectors such as construction, the recession has hammered them hard so saying that there are jobs out there may well be stretching the truth a tad.   If there are jobs they are often unpaid or employers have dropped salary levels so far you would end up living in abject poverty so what god would that do?

The one thing that does rile me about Cait though is:
The fact that she has chosen to take the Government to court
Is she the victim of an unscrupulous lawyer out to make a name for themselves through advising her her to sue?  It's not their reputation and future employment prospects that are being tainted as the case has evoked so much negative exposure for Cait. Or is this something that she has dreamed up herself as she is so aggrieved by something that is undoubtedly unfair?

Either way she should have raised it with the people at the Job centre. She is articulate enough to complain to the people in charge of the job centre. Believe me,  I know that many people there are plebs but there are also some who do have common sense and would have seen the merits of her argument and done the sensible thing and let her continue at the museum.

2011 closes as 2012 hammers on the door

2012 is here and who the hell knows what life will chuck at us in the months.  Just sitting here and thinking about 2011 which has certainly had it's highs and lows.

Here are some of the things that stick in my mind:

• I found  a job that I am still in and in many ways still enjoying it.  Six months of searching and I finally got one. No easy task but back in the construction sector so I was one happy bunny. Hopefully 2012 will be my year and I'll get a perm job and be able to save up for a home of my own. 
• The London riots were shocking and disturbing, I've never felt uneasy in London, the city I call home.  A sad week of chaos in August was certainly not an image that we should have been portraying to the world.
• I learnt more about me and how to cope with the dullness of having to look for work for six months. Writing this blog, being active and getting out and about helped me a lot. 
• That life is precious, you can't plan for everything and that the simple things can make me happy.