I love being back in work. Having a reason to get up everyday cannot be underestimates. But I am a bit of a ponderer so have been thinking about what I have acheived so far and waht else I want to achieve in my life. Guess it's all part of being a 34 year old women and that perenniel clock that's ticking somewhere in the back of my mind.
Since being made redundant 2 years ago and being unemployed for the past 8 months means that in many ways my life has been on hold. The saving to buy a house and doing those grown up things that are a bit important for someone who is heading towards the mid 30s zone. I am pretty tough on myself especially as in many ways anything that happens in my life is down to me - no partner to gee me one or share things with.
Plus I also can't help it and compare myself to others. I know I shouldn't but it's blinking hard not to. I guess I want those 'normal' things, my own home, a partner and who knows with all that lot. I am not that naive to believe that life is always greener on the other side but I can't help what I want.
Anyway, as I'm writing this, it really occurred to be that I am part of the contract generation. The other week i was listening to the radio and it was said that people nowadays can only get personal loans from their own bank these days. Mainly because they can rifle thought your existing accounts to have a precise idea of all your incomings and outgoings. Rather Big Brotheresq really.
I took the plunge and tried to apply for a loan to cover some of the estate related things that I need to do. As someone who has never applied for a loan and in the height of enhanced credit checks I was astounded by the level of detail needed. They basically went through my current account for 3 months and asked me on the phone what each payment was for, what loans I had, credit cards the lot. As I was not looking for a mortgage, more a 1 year small loan this did strike of being highly intrusive and also in some ways overkill. I have never had to explain my financial affairs in some much detail to an institution before so it certainly was an eye opener.
Cutting to the chase, I was rejected due to me being on a 6 month contract. This made me realise that without a perm role, it is going to be hard to get credit and to buy a place and do all those life stepping stones that I would like to conquer in the next few years. I certainly am not the only one in this boat. Tough times.
Credit cards?! They'll give you a credit card?! Sheesh, they won't give me one. And yet all those checks didn't stop the banks collapsing... *hollow*laugh*
ReplyDeleteAnyway, if I thought too long about the things I can't have, I would break down. I really would. I spent yesterday handing out packages of leaflets to my distributors: the afternoon batch was all grandparents and their grandchildren, and the evening stint seemed to be young families having dinner. So while I can cite loveless marriages where people are staying together "for the kids", and messy divorces, and spouses who have lost partners of many decades, I'm still feeling quite raw about the whole "happy families" thing.
Anyway we focus on what we can have, and pray there is a overarching plan that will have it all make sense. (Or failing that, a really good punchline.) And we encourage each other: if you need a permanent contract, then that's your goal; you've bucked the trend and got a job. Now catch your breath, and then reach for the next rung of the ladder. People can generally get what they want if they work at it. Just be certain it *is* what you want.
Yeah I do have credit cards but am one of those diligent ones who hates having debts and tends to pay things off at the end of the month - don't like the idea of helping banks to make mega profits.
ReplyDeleteGod your general wisdom and insight at times is bloody annoying - how do you do it! :) True the thing about being careful about what you wish for is so true. Definitely want my own home but everything else is still a work in progress.
Actually, I genuinely delayed coming back here because I didn't think I'd said anything helpful.
ReplyDeleteAny insight comes courtesy of my sister. She has—at the tender age of 30—secured herself her first home. (Well *hint* 50% of a home; the rest she rents back from a *hint* housing association under one of the government's *hint* "shared ownership schemes".)
Getting a house was the BIG THING that was going to make her happy. Once she had a house everybody was going to love her, and life would be perfect.
*dons black armband and engages in one minute of respectful silence*
If I'm generous, she's 10%-15% less miserable than she was, but she can still kill the buzz at an Eyeore convention (not that she was ever "totty"). That's why I say: make sure you'll be happy.
However I understand that the "nesting instinct" can be more powerful than the "biological clock", and that a house can bring a sense of security and self-confidence equal to having a partner. So definitely: if you're the kinda person who looks forwards to painting walls; or if, after a bad day, the mere act of returning home and sitting in *your* house will make you purrrrr like a cat; or if, when you're out with friends, having a house will make you feel like you're wearing ten pairs of the most expensive shoes, all at once, then--definitely--start buying clothes on ebay, skimping on the nights out, and saving for the deposit. Coz if my sister can get one, you certainly should be able to.
I would love to paint walls and pick furniture. Paint my picket fence and go skimping in the meadows! :)
ReplyDeleteI am a homebody at heart love cooking and having dinner parties with mates. Yes I am 34 going on 60 but I love that stuff. Skipping in the meadows though would kick off a bout of sneezing due to hayfever so may skip that part.
Not had a home for almost 12 years since my mum passed away so has been something I have hankered for for ages and know I definitely want.
Have to admit that the hoops and constraints that are part of shared ownership are something that I would never want to put myself through. Having to sort out my dad's place which is shared ownership has certainly highlighted the pitfalls of such schemes which to be honest aren't discussed as openly as the benefits of the scheme. It's been a steep learning curve for me.
I will prefer to do it the traditional way, save my butt off to get my own place outright. I tend to always get what I want so watch out this space in about 18 months to 2 years.
I think most women are "homebodies", at least by the time they get into their thirties. I'm struggling to think of one who isn't.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, for my sister it was about independence, not security. And FWIW I think she can slowly increase her share of the house until she owns it all. But she was never going to stay home and save because it was about distancing herself from mum.
Your motivations sound completely different; you're running towards something. And I get the impression you'll have the friends who'll come to those dinner parties.
(Oh, and FYI there *is* medicine for hay fever. Although there isn't any medicine that gets rid of the cows.)
Yes your sister can slowly increase the % of what she owns but will need to shell out for a valuation and pay the housing associations costs each time so doing lots of small steps may not be that cost effective long term.
ReplyDeleteI do have my aim so will get there at some point. With all the stuff that has happened in the past few years I know that there may well be diversions along the way so I will try not to get to caught up on those if things are delayed.